Fuji's Dilemma
by Kitsune Freak
Summary: Fuji has a problem when it comes to his sister and a certain someone going out together. OOCness present. Rated T for safety. You have been warned. Utter crack. !NOYAOI!


KitsuneFreak: Oh lookie! Cracky oneshot alert! I hope some parts aren't too exaggerated to the point they become sappy; I meant to make it funny. OOC present, especially at the end. Episodes inspire me. Misinterpretations also inspire me. Now on with the oneshot!

Disclaimers: I do not not not own PoT… (HA! Triple negatives! Microsoft Word is going to hate me)

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Fuji woke up on a rather uneventful Saturday. After brushing his teeth and getting dressed he headed downstairs where the smell of eggs and bacon reached him. Peering around the corner he saw his older sister Yumiko cooking an American breakfast. He wondered a bit where his parents were since typically they'd already be eating breakfast.

"Mom and Dad said that they're going to be busy today and will probably come back around tomorrow at noon," Yumiko said, already aware of the question that was going to come from the tensai.

"Oh, I see," Fuji sat down and began picking at his eggs when he noticed that the table was set for only one person. Looking up he asked, "You're not going to eat?"

"Hmm? Oh, I have a date this morning so I thought it would be better if I didn't eat," Yumiko smiled and finished up washing the dishes. Wiping her hands on a towel she asked, "Would you like me to tell you of your fortune today?"

Shrugging Fuji said, "Why not? You're predictions are rather on the spot."

"Hmm," Yumiko placed the cards and began to read Fuji's fortune, "Oh dear, it seems that you shall find your eternal rival starting today. What a depressing fortune! Are you feeling alright?"

"No, I feel perfectly fine. I don't see any reason why I _should_ be feeling ill."

Before Yumiko could question her littler brother any further the doorbell rang and Fuji excused himself saying that his sister should clean up the cards that were spread helter-skelter all over the table. Patting off some invisible dust Fuji opened the door and the sight he beheld horrified him. Fuji eyes opened and grew wide before they blinked several times to make sure what he saw wasn't an illusion. In front of him was none other than Hajime Mizuki, with a bouquet of roses and a gleaming smile. What's more, he wore a horribly girly purple sweater with carnations printed all over it.

"Hello, is Yumiko-chan there? I was supposed to pick her up," with a sly smirk he added, "You know for our _date_?"

Feeling slightly repulsed by Mizuki, Fuji slammed the door in his face and headed back to the dining room where Yumiko asked him who was at the door.

"Oh, it was just a girl scout. You know, selling cookies and stuff," Fuji shook slightly and tried to sort things out.

'_Okay, my sister told me that she's going out on a date and suddenly that Mizuki shows up at my doorstep asking for Yumiko. This so can't be happening. There are probably two different Yumikos. Yeah, that has to be the answer!'_

Feeling relieved at his conclusion, he was able to eat his breakfast again. The doorbell rang.

"I should get it," Yumiko said getting up.

"No, no you shouldn't. It's that girl scout, I'm sure."

"Really?" The doorbell rang again.

"Just ignore it."

"Should we? I mean I feel kind of bad leaving that girl scout on our doorstep." The doorbell rang twice.

"Ignore it. That will teach the annoying girl scout a lesson," It rang thrice this time.

"Wow, they sure are persistent," Yumiko was silent for a while but stood up suddenly, "You know what? I'll just open the door and ask that girl scout to kindly leave us alone and that will solve the whole thing!" She scampered off in the direction of the door.

"No!" Fuji tried fruitlessly to grab his sister's jacket but he only succeeded in nearly falling off his chair. Getting up quickly he ran after his sister. He hoped to intercept her before she reached the door. However he ran too fast and slid right into Mizuki knocking him over.

Laughing slightly Yumiko said, "Syuusuke, look who's at the door! It wasn't that girl scout that you met, it's Mizuki-san!"

"And umm how do you know each other?" Fuji asked tentatively after getting up.

"Oh please, the great tensai of Seigaku should have already figured it out by now," Mizuki stated.

"I'm sorry, but no one had brought this subject up, and I'm sure you have an explanation," Fuji replied coldly.

"Well, how should I put this. Your sister and I are going out," Subsequently, he handed Yumiko the bouquet.

Looking to his sister he asked, "Is this true?"

"Yes, Syuusuke, it is. Isn't Mizuki-san such a wonderful man?"

"I'm sure," Fuji sarcastically remarked.

"Well, shall we be going to the mall then?" Mizuki asked offering his arm.

"Of course!" Yumiko clasped her hands around Mizuki's arm in a fashion that was typically done by girlfriends to their boyfriends only. Fuji did NOT like that. The thought of one day being related to Mizuki horrified him.

"There is no way that he is going to be my brother-in-law one day," he muttered to himself. Looking up he pulled his sister aside to talk to her.

"Yumiko-neechan, I don't want to sound rude or anything but what do see in this…person?"

"What do I see in him?" she thought for a moment. "Well he's really sweet, kind, and knows a lot about tennis. He offered to teach me once but I said no since it was really hard to understand. Every time he sees me he always has to give me some sort of gift which I find rather cute."

"Can't you find another guy?" Fuji asked desperately. _'One who isn't a freak, acts gay, and nearly crippled my dear little brother, Yuuta.' _he added mentally.

"Why should I? He's the perfect boyfriend in every way,"

Fuji cringed at the word 'boyfriend'. "If you want, I can teach you tennis so simply that you can understand, and, and I'll even use my allowance to buy whatever you'd like. Just please don't go out with him. Just walk to him and say something like 'Let's break up' and be done with it. I'm sure there are many more guys suitable for you," Fuji implored and hoped that his sister would listen.

"Awww, that's very sweet Syuusuke, but please understand that I can't always be your big sister, I have to get on with my life too, you know." She put a hand on Fuji's shoulder, "It's alright, you'll get used to it. Hey, you'll get a girlfriend too when you're older," she went back to Mizuki and headed off to the mall with him.

'_Getting unused to my sister having a boyfriend isn't what I'm talking about! He's…he's…a freak I tell you!_' Fuji desperately wanted to scream this but the words just couldn't come out.

Frustrated he stormed back into the house and tossed the remaining breakfast out the window, where it hit an unsuspecting Saeki who screamed…but ANYWAY. Fuji thought up all the ways that he was going to kill Mizuki the next time he saw him but he concluded that that meant waiting. And he didn't want to wait. The hate was just bubbling inside of him. We would have used the term burning but Taka already had claims to word and would surely sue us. But to get back on track of the story, Fuji thought even harder. So hard that it made his head hurt. But he arrived at a conclusion nonetheless. He planned that every time Mizuki was to go out with Yumiko he would tag along very close behind and at every opportune moment he would do something that would ruin the date. Yes, Fuji liked that idea a LOT. So he grabbed a jacket and ran after them to the mall, after he locked up the house of course.

It wasn't too hard to locate them. Like, who could miss a certain St. Rudolphian wearing that horrible purple sweater? They were at one of those places that served only various juices and ice cream where customers could sit outside and chat instead of being bottled up in a small space.

The first thought that came to Fuji's mind was, '_How unhealthy. Ice cream and soda for breakfast? Tsk, Tsk._' The next thing he noticed that there was a waiter handing out drinks to everyone and an evil idea came too his mind. Pulling out a magazine, he used it to hide his face as he walked over to their table. Fuji sat himself down at a table that was just behind Mizuki & his sister's and waited. He watched as the waiter flitted from table to table. He also watched as Mizuki chatted with his sister and the anger just kept bubbling. And the perfect opportunity came when the waiter stopped near Mizuki's table. Fuji got up suddenly and 'accidentally' bumped into the waiter who was carrying a full tray of drinks, but in the act of balancing the tray he bumped into Mizuki, who was not so lucky and spilled his soda all over Yumiko. In this temporary chaos, Fuji was able to sneak away.

'_I'm sorry to get you dress all unattractive and stuff but this is for your own good,_' Fuji thought silently. Feeling rather triumphant he headed home to but not before playing a bit of street tennis.

Later that evening the doorbell rang. Fuji went to answer it and saw his sister standing there wearing a completely different dress from the one Mizuki (or rather he) ruined.

Acting like nothing was amiss he asked casually, "What happened to the dress you wore this morning? I'm pretty sure that it was very different from this one."

"Oh this thing?" She fingered the fabric, "Well, while we were at the mall the waiter accidentally bumped into Mizuki-san causing him to spill his soda all over me. He felt really guilty so he bought me a new dress. Isn't it lovely?"

"It's beautiful," Fuji said dully and grabbed snacks and apples and went upstairs to his room where he locked himself there until Monday.

In all the following Saturdays after, Mizuki consistently visited the Fuji household to pick up Yumiko and Syuusuke unfailingly tailed them everywhere. Yumiko had found it very odd how her average run of the mill dates always met disaster (such as spilled drinks, Mizuki suddenly tripping for no apparent reason, books toppling on them at libraries, etc.) and concluded that she was just unlucky. She also noticed that Fuji refused to listen to his fortune on Saturdays.

Fuji was very aggravated to find out that each time he tried to break up the young couple, it always ended in Mizuki buying his sister something to accommodate for something else. And that always made Yumiko like Mizuki even more. Each time it happened he tried harder the next week but it always had the opposite affect.

_Fifteen years later:_

"Mizuki get out of this house!" Fuji screamed.

"I can't, I live here!" Mizuki yelled back with equal intensity.

"Then why in the world did you move _in_ when you got married?"

"Because you wouldn't let Yumiko move _out_ of the house."

Fuji couldn't say anything because Mizuki was right. Three years ago Yumiko and Mizuki got married (Syuusuke strongly opposed this) and there was a big fuss on whether or not Yumiko would move out with Mizuki to which Syuusuke also strongly opposed. So Mizuki ended up moving in with Fuji's. Yuuta thought his older brother was being unreasonable since when he got married his spouse was also forced under the same roof. So we have Yuuta's family, Mizuki's family, and Fuji all under on roof. Needless to say a lot of crazy things happened and arguments between Mizuki and Fuji at 6 in the morning weren't uncommon.

"Look Fuji. I have one thing to say to you," Mizuki said.

"And that is?"

"…Get on with life."

"Ever since you began dating my sister I have never been able to do that," then Fuji stormed off where he ran into Yuuta who was rubbing his eyes.

"Another argument with Mizuki-san?" Yuuta yawned.

"Pretty much."

"Aniki?"

"Hmm?"

"Get a wife."

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Another freaky oneshot. This was inspired by the episode where Mizuki tries to hit on Fuji's older sister (which proves he isn't gay; YES!). Sorry for all the flip-flopping between the name Fuji and Syuusuke. I get so used to the name Fuji, but I also know that since it's his last name it would cause some confusion. And as to why the last line is what it is I'll never know. I just felt like that would suit, plus it rhymes with the word 'life'. I wanna do a Rikkai Dai centric oneshot after this. I've already planned out Shinji, Inui, Tezuka, and Hyoutei centric oneshots. Wow, that's 5 oneshots added on to the story Love Potion Number 9. Now if I could just type them up that would be great. Oh well, I'll get to it somehow. So read & review. It makes me feel happy and might even speed up the flow ideas that enter my brain.

R&R!


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